9112001, And What It Means To Spencer Shay
by JustBecauseImAwesome
Summary: Companion to my other story. However, completely ignores other story. Spencer explains to Sam just why the day is so important to him. Pretty sad. One-shot.


**A/N: Hi. Its me. This is a companion to my other story 9112001, And What It Means To Carly Shay.  I wanted to expand on the backstory I gave the Shay's, and while watching "iWanna Stay With Spencer", this happened. I kept basically the same story, but changed it to fit more into to the context of the show. It was intended to be multi-chapter, but I wanted to keep the same format as my other fic. So now, instead of Carly and Freddie at school, its Spencer and Sam at the Groovy Smoothie. No pairings. Also, my other one was added to a C2, and I forgot to make it clear that if you want to add it to whatever C2, CONTACT ME FIRST. This is not a drabble, and I put a lot of thought into it. Hope you like, Xero out.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in iCarly, however, the plot-line is mine. I also do not own the song at the end, which is "Little Wonders" by Rob Thomas. **

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**Spencer's POV**

The lyrics of Boston's More Than A Feeling competed with the sound of rain falling on the roof of the Groovy Smoothie. The restaurant was empty, save for me and the single employee behind the counter. Not that it should be full. Not today. The rain had kept pretty much everyone inside, as the lightning caused multiple power outages over the whole city. Truthfully, it matched my mood. Sad. Depressed. I was sitting at a round table in the corner of the restaurant, far from the door, and the counter. In front of me was a Blueberry Blitz smoothie, which was untouched. I had only ordered it so the guy wouldn't kick me out for loitering. I wasn't thirsty. But I was tired. I hadn't slept well for just over a week. A crack of thunder interrupted my thoughts. Rain. Despite popular belief, it didn't actually rain that much in Seattle. Mostly it just drizzled. But it was always cloudy. Thunderstorms were rare. Glancing at the clock on the wall, I saw it was almost five in the evening. The bell on the door rang, and I looked up. A familiar blonde girl walked in. If it weren't for her hair, I probably wouldn't have recognized her. She was wet, and her shoes squeaked on the tile floor. Her face had the same sad expression it had been carrying for the past week. Not that I blamed her, we were all somewhat depressed. The girl was my little sister's, best friend, Samantha Puckett. She was reckless, irrational, rude, a monster, if you wanted to go that far, but when it came to her friends health and safety, she was probably the nicest person you ever met. Usually. Carly, my little sister and her met at school almost nine years ago. My dad didn't like her that much, thought she was a bad influence, but then he left for the Air Force and it didn't matter. The two had been inseparable since. Her eyes met mine, and she started walking over to my table. Her foot caught a stray chair, and she stumbled forward before grabbing a table and balancing herself. She mumbled something and continued walking to my table. She pulled out the chair across from me and sat down.

"Hey Spence." She said.

"Hey Sam. I thought you were with Carly." I said.

"Yeah." She answered, taking my smoothie and taking a sip.

"But I needed to take a walk. And besides, she's not alone. Freddie is there." I thought that was the first time I ever heard her call Freddie by his actual name.

"K." I said. The silence between us was awkward, but we had nothing to say. But in an attempt to end the awkwardness, Sam spoke up.

"How much sleep did you get last night?" She asked.

Not looking up, I tried to make a joke. "What is this 'sleep' you speak of?" She chuckled lightly.

"So, you haven't slept since..." Her voice trailed off.

"Two days ago. I'm surviving on Skybucks coffee." I said, truthfully. She shrugged. If Carly found out, she would probably get Sam to knock me out so I would sleep. I just couldn't though. Whenever I tried, my thoughts swirled and jumped around in my head, making it impossible. But Sam was cool, she understood. She hadn't slept well either lately. None of us had.

"So. What are you doing here? I would have thought you would be at home, or at the art museum, or with Carly, or Socko, or something." She said.

I shrugged. "Needed some time to think." I said. There was a bright flash from outside, and the lights flickered.

"Stupid storm." Sam said.

I nodded in agreement. "So how's Carly doing?" I questioned.

"Okay, I guess. She's really scared though." Sam responded.

"Who wouldn't be?" I thought out loud. She shrugged again.

After a moment's thought, she asked "How did this happen?" Sam asked, staring at the Styrofoam cup in her hand. I knew what she meant. And just as More Than A Feeling ended, and Carry On My Wayward Son by Kansas started playing, I told her.

"Nine years ago, today..." My voice trailed off.

"The day your mom died." Sam said. I nodded.

"Tuesday, September 11, 2001." I said, stating obvious information. "Where to start?" I pondered aloud.

"That morning. I know basically what happened, Carly's told me, but she never told me that much."

"Okay then. It was about 3 in the morning. I was sleeping in my room. I hadn't left home yet, even though I was twenty years at the time. Carly was seven. Our dad was a Captain in the Air Force, and he worked at the military base in Tacoma, and commuted daily. Our mom was on a business trip, and she was coming home Thursday."

"But she never did." Sam stated.

"No. Anyway, I woke up to a coughing noise. I quickly realized it was Carly. Our mom was away a lot, and she had grown accustomed to sleeping in my bed. I quickly figured out she was having an asthma attack, and got her inhaler from where we kept it. After it didn't work, I realized she wasn't having an asthma attack." I paused before continuing. "I woke up my dad, and we took her to the hospital. While I was waiting, I had a strange feeling. Like something wasn't right. It couldn't have been he inhaler. I had just gotten it, it should have worked. After three hours of sitting in a waiting room, nervous as hell, the doctor finally told us what was wrong. Carly did have an asthma attack, but it was minor, and shouldn't have caused as many problems as it did. Turns out, she had a lot of problems. You see, asthma can keep oxygen levels low, and that's not good. Her body had lost almost its entire ability to absorb vitamin B12, which caused her to have a very bad anemia. Anemia lowers blood oxygen levels even more, so when you combine that with asthma..."

"Its not good." Sam finished for me.

"No. And her body had to work very hard to get enough oxygen. That caused her heart to weaken, and not be as efficient as it should. It wasn't treatable, and she would live with it her entire life. Now, every time she has an asthma attack..."

"She has a heart attack." I nodded.

"And it weakens her even more. I hate to say it, but she won't live a long life." I said, looking down. "Anyway, by the time I left to get breakfast, it was already about nine AM. I passed a TV on my way out, and it was playing news footage. A plane hit the World Trade Center. I knew my mom was working there that day, and I was scared to death. I probably didn't move for ten minutes. I finally got out of shock and went to find my dad, who was with Carly. He didn't take the news well. We knew all we could do was wait, and we did. Then, the tower collapsed." I paused and took a deep breath. "It was all so much to handle. I knew without a doubt, that our mom wasn't coming home alive. Carly was smart, and she figured it out soon enough. It was very hard. You see, if Carly hadn't have had that asthma attack, her body would soon lose its ability to absorb B12, and her next attack would have killed her for sure. Just thinking about that makes me shudder. That I could have lost the two most important people in my life. That was probably, no, was the worst day of my life."

"Wow. I never knew all that." Sam said. I nodded. It really had been the worst day of my life. It was why my dad was on an Ohio-class submarine under the Pacific Ocean. It was the reason my mother died. It was the reason I was raising my little sister alone. It was the reason the same little sister had spent the last week in the hospital. But it was also the reason my sister and I were so close. We didn't have many regrets between us. We almost never fought. Because if one of us lost the other, we couldn't go on.

"Sam. I'm gonna go somewhere. Keep the smoothie." I said, standing up.

"Thanks. Want me to come?" She asked. I shook my head.

"Nah. I'll see you later." I said, and I walked out of the restaurant. I turned left down the sidewalk, and was glad the rain was only a light drizzle now. After walking for a while, I found my destination. Normally, Carly would be with me, but that was kinda impossible this year. I walked the all to familiar path. I found what I was looking for, and sighed. I took a shaky breath and sat down on the grass. "You know. I wish you were here. But at the same time, strangely, I'm kinda glad that what happened did. If it hadn't, Carly and I wouldn't be who we are today. Carly never would have met Sam or Freddie, I would never have become an artist, and our lives would be boring. She misses you. I do too. She's sick again. And I'm scared. I don't know if she's gonna make it this time. And even if she does, what about the next time? What if it gets worse?" I took another shaky breath and went on. "We'll, I got to go." I stood up and turned to walk off, but I stopped and turned back. "I love you mom. Thanks for everything." Unintentionally, I read the inscription on the stone. Sarah Lucille Shay. Born September 14, 1959. Died September 11, 2001. I walked out of the cemetery, heading back for the Groovy Smoothie. My SUV was parked there. After I got back, the rain had started again, although not with as much intensity as before. I pulled my keys from my pocket, and unlocked the Toyota. I got in and put the key in the ignition. I turned it, and the radio came on loudly. I quickly turned it down, and wondered how it got that loud. The song playing had ended, and an unfamiliar song started, and he drove off.

_Let it go, let it roll right off your shoulder Don't you know the hardest part is over? Let it in, let your clarity define you In the end we will only just remember how it feels_

_Our lives are made in these small hours These little wonders, these twists and turns of fate Time falls away but these small hours These small hours still remain_

_Let it slide, let your troubles fall behind you Let it shine until you feel it all around you And I don't mind if it's me you need to turn to We'll get by, it's the heart that really matters in the end_

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